Zombies: Drugs, Virus, Government Coverup

So the government is now saying that the zombie attack in Miami was caused by a drug nicknamed ‘Bath Salt.’ What they’re trying to silence is the fact that there have been similar incidences occurring a lot lately, and although Bath Salt was found in the Miami guy’s system, not all of the attackers had consumed it. There is also another substance in their blood that invades, corrupts, and destroys the cell structure, much Like a virus, though not like any virus we know of. I have a few theories…

1) A few months ago, I noticed a story that scientists working for the U.S. Government had taken the H1N1 virus and experimented with it, making it more potent (the reason for this was not released with the story) The Government now has control of H1N9, a virus so powerful that the scientists reported that if it were to be released, 1/2 to 3/4 of the Earth’s population could be destroyed. Any attempt to vaccinate would be futile, as the vaccine itself would be potent enough to kill a person.

Many others believe that the reason for this is to hold a weapon even more superior to Nuclear power. In nuclear war, if both sides had the power, both sides could potentially be destroyed. However, with Viral warfare, only one side has the upper hand. Like Anthrax, H1N9 could be released into a concentrated area and wipe out all in the vicinity. The only problem with this, is that H1N9 does not disperse to safe levels. As far as the public has been told, there is no way to stop the spread of the virus once it has been released, so I’m really hoping this theory is incorrect.

2) Remember a few months ago when the Government put out that “Emergency Zombie Survival Kit” ad thing? Around that time is when the incidents really started. Even if it’s not H1N9, it could be another virus, or an experiment gone wrong… Whatever is to blame for it, the Government definitely knows about it and is trying to cover it up, like so many of their previous screw ups.

3) Perhaps all of our genetically modified food, as regulated by the government, was screwed up. yet again, government to blame here. I don’t know. This one may just be because I watched Zombieland not that long ago, but I felt the need to toss it out there.

Among other theories not necessarily supported by me is “The End of Times” as told in the book of Revelations in the christian bible. My friend would have killed me if i hadnt put that in here, but here it is.

My theories on what’s REALLY happening with the zombies in America.

Zombies!! No lie.

So in addition to the cannibal in Miami, there’s been another incident in Ohio with a man eating another person… This guy? No Bath Salts found. Nothing in his system… Other than a flu vaccine.

The CDC is saying that it’s nothing more than cannibals, it’s not a drug, or a virus, but why the hell are there so many occurrences so soon after they mess with H1N1, so soon after they release an ad telling us to prepare a kit for a zombie apocalypse?

It’s flu season, and suddenly all these freaky things are happening. It’s either H1N9 or H3N2, and it’s not just me that knows it…

I must say, Government, you’re not as good at covering your tracks as you seem to think you are.

Je me demande si ce n'est pas l'inverse. Ca vaut ce que ça vaut, c'est une théorie personnelle, mais j'ai l'impression que le zombie moderne a plus l'air d'être inspiré par un malade de la rage (avec des effets décuplés) que du zombie vaudou classique.
A propos, savez-vous qui a inventé le zombie moderne (sans le savoir) ?

C'est un peu le même problème que pour les décès massifs d'animaux : cela arrive tout le temps dans l'indifférence générale... mais lorsque les médias s'y intéressent et commencent à en parler, on ne voit plus que ça et le grand public s'imagine qu'il s'agit d'un phénomène paranormal.

Je me demande si ce n'est pas l'inverse. Ca vaut ce que ça vaut, c'est une théorie personnelle, mais j'ai l'impression que le zombie moderne a plus l'air d'être inspiré par un malade de la rage (avec des effets décuplés) que du zombie vaudou classique.
A propos, savez-vous qui a inventé le zombie moderne (sans le savoir) ?